Inner War

It courses through his veins like a virus, seeking the passion, his inner spark, he fights hard. It mutates and grows stronger and stronger. He won’t let it win; he can’t let it win… he holds strong.

He has always known that there was a contagious bug going around, he has had it before. He thought he was now immune; he had built a resistance to it in the past, He has fought this many times before. This one feels different somehow; stronger, he wants to stop the spread and attempts it at every chance, this only weakens him and the virus grows stronger within. It eats away at him piece by piece; it starts to attack his mind, his ego runs rife. His mind splits and starts to argue with him incessantly, over and over. So much so he doubts his intuition. He has fought this before and won, this time its stronger, it’s mutated… no longer is it just his ego and his mind… this time it’s attacking his core.

He is tired, so tired. Others see it in his face, he holds strong as he does not want it to spread any further. It can’t take hold he wont let it. He looks to his heart for guidance and finds the defences are holding but they are weak; how is it getting in? The virus makes a charge at his values, his integrity is challenged, what does he do? Without his values system he has no more defence; it will take over and he will lose the fight. He won’t give up, he can’t give up.

He looks tired, he sounds like a victim, MUST FIGHT. He grows angry with himself for letting it take charge again. He has to do something about it, it’s hard to build a strategy with little passion left and his heart being challenged so much but he can’t let them win. He looks to the mind for assistance, poor choice; it’s ravaged; paranoid, and the ego wants to take over but he won’t let it. He must search deep, the cure is somewhere within. He has beaten this before and he isn’t going to let it win again. No way.

He can give up, he can take a step back to regroup; how will this help the others who are putting up a strong fight of their own? Bullshit; how will taking a step back help him to stand up for what he believes in and build his offence? He won’t be the victim; he won’t sit back and be forced to conform, to let it take hold. It can only mutate if he lets it, it can only take hold if he focuses all attention to it. He has passion, he has spark. The virus may have forced his life force to retreat and hide, for now.

He is aware; so many cures are on offer. Some he can wait for them to be tested and the others he can’t. He must beat back the fury of this virus before he succumbs. He will reclaim his values and push his way forward. He can’t stop the spread as he was never contagious anyway. He can only show that the virus can be beaten, the cure is something within. He hates being the victim; he won’t do it no more. He must take charge. He hears the chant in his head over and over FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Already he feels a stirring; his inner army is building and forming their ranks. The assault will soon be ready. He can afford to make mistakes as they will help him learn to reinforce his intuition, he then wont need to defend. He will learn to rid himself of the virus once and for all. He will grow strong. His heart is beating fast. A deep breath and a tear rolls down his cheek. No more excuses, the time is right.