Tonight I feel numb, no real thoughts or feelings. I feel numb; shear emptiness, a void of all feeling. Any thoughts I do have are but a glimpse into reality for a brief moment and then gone.
They succumb to the empty void that has overcome me; the emptiness breathes a sigh of relief. Is this why you did it? Is this what freed you from your thoughts all those years. I knew what you went through was painful and I guess I underestimated the power the drink had over you or maybe I hoped we were worth more than your own situation.
I never held you responsible; I always knew that what you had to deal with was way too much for you to bear. One thing I ask is why you did not seek help? Why did we all go through what we did?
What did you give me? You gave me strength, you gave me wisdom without study, and you gave me life. You held your head high and you stood strong. You gave me life experience when all else failed.
Yes at times it was easier to end it all, to leave and not come back. You; you were one thought that stayed my hand.
To others this will have no meaning; to me and my glass it holds all emotions.Pour me another and maybe I will weep; maybe I will laugh... guess we will have to see.
From what you and I have talked about I do know who and what this refers to ...
ReplyDeleteNothing gives us more perspective on something else than the opportunity to experience it for ourselves.
Unless we walk long and hard in someone elses shoes, we are ill-equiped to judge.
Ahhhhhh scotch, the angry mans drink. I wish I was drunk right now!
ReplyDeleteUMMM you are drunk and your name is way too long hehehe
ReplyDeleteMelly; I knew you would know the who and what i was talkin bout :) Hugs
ReplyDeleteSHane sorry for this loss that weighs so heavily on you!
ReplyDeleteTake care buddy...it sounds like a place I have been many times and rthe sooner you can leave it behind the better...but that is easier said than done. I have stared into the bottom of an empty glass too many times to find any hope of salvation there. I found help in mnay places and you friend melly was one of them. Stay safe.
ReplyDeletePS: Bloody well written btw
if only all poetry was this intense, the world of poems would be much more appreciated.
ReplyDeleteI am too naive to understand the pain your paint, but I feel enough of it to know that no man should ever be exposed to it.
If nothing else, you have friends that tries to understand. And that is better than what most people have.
Rangers: thanks for your kind words. I wrote this post in relation to alcoholism and a small part of the effect it had on my childhood. I did loose some of my childhood growing up but I learnt a lot from this experience :)
ReplyDeleteScorpy: Great to hear that you overcome your personal challenge, not all people have that strength. I have had my vices and my own challenges, alcohol was one i did not have to experience for myself though as i have seen the effects it has on people close to me :)
Thanks Iz, I do have a great bunch of friends and i hold each of them a special place in my heart.