Lost or hidden?

Well its been a while since I wrote and I seem to be over my illness... except the fatigue remains, it lingers day in and day out, OH GOD IM BORED... am I waiting or am I searching. I'm feeling like a drone and most of the time I have a sense that I have lost my identity and feel I don't belong anywhere and yet this may not be a bad thing. My day feels very robotic and the world around me plastic and fake no matter how much spark I just cant seem to get the fire hot enough to melt the plastic. The hectic pace of 3D time is back - the days seem shorter and shorter and again its seems my life has been reduced to work and sleep, OH GOD IM BORED!!!

Well what a cleansing feeling that was to release.

Today i felt someone elses pain, almost overwhelming; a friend sobbed into my shoulder and it felt i was feeling her emotions as if they were mine - anger, confusion mixed with pain and yet a sort of relief that someone was listening. I really hope she takes a stand against the problem and hopefully she is ready to change her situation, she deserves better. Her man is taking advantage and has her is some sort of mental tug of war where she feels trapped not only through fear of what he may do but also i think she fears she has no choice, I told her to kick his lazy arse to the kurb and trust that she will be taken care of yet even as i said it i knew deep down this is easier said than done... Unfortunately i feel that i can only send her love and best wishes for it is her journey and only she can know whats right for her.

Well, one more day at the office and i have 2 days parole to lavish myself with freedom and need to get off my lazy butt and do something to get myself out of the boring beige colored hole im in. Im thinking of heading out to see my little nephews and niece and letting my inner child loose with a day of running, screaming, playing... please hold caller!!! Cool, just called my brother and will most likely go and watch my nephews play footy sunday :) now saturday is mine... im picturing a peaceful country outing or a least an out of the city experience to boost the energy stores again :)

Till next time i leave you with a big huge hug xxx