Crossroads

I look at the road stretching out straight ahead, from a distance it looked amazing, it had a look that was familiar and yet I knew it would be a challenge; I was excited and looked forward to reaching the base of what presented itself as a natural incline.

As I got closer it looked very rewarding and yet strangely it gave me a feeling of emptiness. Closer still; now I feel anxious and what looked like a climb up a slight incline now looked like a treacherous climb up a slippery mountain. A path I now seemed to dread; self doubt set in as it seemed the only path ahead.

My mind becomes fuzzy and my heart begins to sink, it’s like the life is draining from me with each step I take. This path seems impassable no matter what strength i hold within, I have given it my all and now it seems the challenging hill i looked forward to slowly climbing has now become such a menacing barrier that i have lost all interest in.

I start to climb the mountain and suddenly as if out of no-where; I find myself standing at a crossroad. My stomach tightens and I become tense; no-one around. I look down each path and wonder what each one holds.

To the left; a narrow path down a very steep cliff face. One wrong move and I could fall, I would have to drop everything I carry and take a leap of faith in a hope that the path would become easier further down and that I would be able to rebuild again once I reach the bottom.

To the right; a rocky, slippery path that’s hard to see what lies ahead as it’s blinded by a dense fog. I get an overwhelming sense of self doubt when I turn in this direction, there seems to be many options. In the near distance though the path looks promising but what lies behind the fog? Does this path also hold the same bullshit that the current path holds?

I look back at the path where I have been, it seems quiet, I know this path and it holds no new challenge. I would have to go right back to the start and I would have to run back fast and not stop until I had gone past the journey of the last 6 years at least, back to where it all began. Would I be bored? Could I survive this journey? The destination of this path whilst welcoming it would only be temporary safety before I would have to return to the crossroads.

Which path should I take; the choice has to be made… I cannot linger at the crossroads too long; I must make my choice before my passion has gone forever; before i allow my values to be questioned once again. I cannot go back to that place of self doubt again, i wont.