Glass Cube

Today started with a mud cookie of love and his companion ummm lets say ummmm yummy cookie galore, yum what a treat it was with my morning coffee, thanks Miss M – What a start to the day xxx

Lately I feel like I’m in a glass cube, people can see in but I can’t see out. I am numb to who I am and I sit inside my cube confused with my surroundings. I feel so very detached from everything at the moment. A strong sense of change in the air and I’m not sure what I need to do to bring it about. Sometimes I get really excited about what this change may mean, and at other times really nervous.

I sit and stare; words and emotions jumbled in my mind tend to spill out on my screen as I sit here and try to make sense of where I am and what I am doing and where I want to go. Today some really exciting news, one of my dearest friends took a leap of faith and resigned from work, yet another big loss for the dark empire. It was amazing though to see the spark in his eyes, I love him to pieces and I know it was for the best.

At the moment I throw myself into work, I have my energy focussed on the 3d world it maintains, in a funny way it's keeping me grounded and seems to be telling me to deal with a few issues on my plate at the moment, especially the family ones.

Yesterday a brief 2 second call from my niece, all she said was “I’m calling Uncle Shane” and the call dropped out, no call back…I tried to call back, she has changed her number so I sent an email. Last night I got all emotional about not seeing my monsters and my little princess for so long, I miss em.

Family, the one thing we seem to hold dear to us no matter what… It can be the reason for such joy and yet it can tear at the very fabric that makes us who we are. How sometimes a thought of a loved one can bring a smile to your face and yet one moment can cause you such pain that you just want to rip your heart out and throw it down a flight of stairs. Its time to let go and move on… I think I’m done with it.

But deep down I know I’m doing the right thing. Their cycle is their own and I can’t fix it for them, I can only offer my love.

So I sit in my glass cube and watch the people around me. Still confused but overall I seem to understand why I’m here at the moment.